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Look Alive

by Trash Boat

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1.
I feel my footsteps getting deeper I feel my knees as they get weaker And I wish I could just go to bed My head Two halves of me at constant ends Holding me down Full of everything I never said
 As my life unfolds I’m digging myself deeper in this hole. I feel my footsteps getting deeper I feel my knees as they get weaker And I wish I could just go to bed And sleep it all away.
 I fill my lungs then they collapse I dug too long and now I’m trapped again inside my head. This is everything I feared And I try to be sincere You use my words against me cut me ear to ear I feel my footsteps getting deeper I feel my knees as they get weaker And I wish I could just go to bed And sleep it all away.
 I fill my lungs then they collapse I dug too long and now I’m Trapped again inside my head. If a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind Of what then is an empty desk a sign 
If a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind Of what then is an empty desk a sign I’m walking in circles 
Everything I’m thinking, I’m second guessing. Cos the weight of these words, is pulling me down I’m losing my grip at this rate I’ll probably drown Cos the weight of these words, is pulling me down I’m slipping, I’m sinking I feel my footsteps getting deeper I feel my knees as they get weaker And I wish I could just go to bed And sleep it all away 
I fill my lungs then they collapse I dug too long and now I’m trapped again inside my head It’s louder here than I remember.
2.
Boneless 03:05
Take me back to the place I remember The place we used to go when we were kids I’m sick I’m sick I’m sixteen, I give I give in too easily Had a sword hanging over my head Dangling by the thread Times I thought I was better off dead And I’m falling short of who I need to be And I know I’ll be fine I just don’t wanna get left behind cos I’m Dead in the water and all I can see is this Fucking disease and it’s eating at me, I’m just trying to sleep I’ve felt, physically weak The best part of 3 years now And I’ve been running circles in my mind Round and round trying to find A sense of stability So I don’t fall in too deep I don’t think I can sit this one out There’s just too much left in me Too much inside to sweat out I’m just another patient And I’m losing my patience Do you understand the gravity of what you just said to me. Cos I’m Dead in the water and all I can see is this Fucking disease and it’s eating at me, I’m just trying to sleep I’ve felt, physically weak The best part of 3 years now And I’ve been running circles in my mind round and round trying to find A sense of stability so I don’t fall in too deep Take me, back to the place I remember The place that we used to go I’m sick I’m sick I’m sixteen I give I give in too easily. Struggling all of the years that I fought it for So long I thought I was dead in the water Struggling all of the years that I fought it for So long I thought I was dead in the water I’m sick I’m sick I’m sixteen I give I give in too easily
3.
Gnarmalade 01:43
Another day goes by I’m weaker and I’ve lost faith in myself
 The world around me seems so hopeless all I want to do is help
 Your apathetic makes me sick, you only look out for yourself
 Too blinded by your ignorance you have been put up on the shelf Lately I have been trying to figure out just who I wanna be I’m so happy it’s just not enough for me My sense of self has faded Everything about me is changing Am I hopelessly jaded Or am I just still waiting The struggling has worn me down I feel myself wasting away I pretend to bite my tongue I have nothing left to say.
4.
Lock-In 03:05
The last few years are a blur Bring me up from the dirt Even though I’ve been home I can’t help feeling uncertain
 Tears in my eyes pull back the curtain These are my scars This is my time to earn them

I I’m getting sick of this.
 Watching friends destroy themselves Smile fake too drunk to tell You can’t tell me this is what you want when you called up asking me for help How can you expect to grow If you’ve already chosen Where this ends This is why we’re friends Don’t stay in the dark Thinking what you say can’t make a difference
 I know that it’s hard He needs your help so sit and listen And the thought that I know I’ll persist Shows how important you’ve been through all this Underneath your skin and bone Is something that I’ll never know 
Are we all problem kids Or kids born of a problem
 I know that underneath your skin and bone Is something that I’ll never know
 What are you trying so hard not to show The last few years are a blur Bring me up from the dirt Even though I’ve been home I can’t help feeling uncertain
 Tears in my eyes Pull back the curtain These are my scars This is my time to earn them And the thought that I know I’ll persist Shows how important you’ve been through all this These are my scars this is my time to earn

credits

released June 23, 2014

Recorded and mixed by Neil Kennedy at Ranch Production House
Mastered by Alan Douches
Artwork by NATAS Designs

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Trash Boat England, UK

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